Value yourself first before you expect others to value you. Your worth starts with you.
Boundaries can be hard to set and implement if you are a recovering people pleaser like myself. But so often, we feel guilty for informing others of ours.
Because of the fear of disappointing someone or missing out on something, you do not want anyone to be upset with you. However, if you continue to please others, you subconsciously put yourself second.
It's time to change the script. It is no longer only about others' needs but about yours as well.
Often without realizing that by saying "yes" to everything, they also say "no" to something else that might be equally important to their career. How often have you gone to an event or date you didn't want to do? If you are like me, many.
When we give our word, we feel a sense of responsibility to keep it, even if it's not something we enjoy doing. It can be challenging because our heart and mind may not be fully present. We might end up feeling a bit down on ourselves for not trusting our instincts and declining the commitment. We might start to wonder how we can gracefully extricate ourselves while still trying to be a good friend, colleague, or family member. It's not an easy position to be in, and it can be emotionally taxing.
I realized that trying to be in multiple places at once was causing me to feel anxious and guilty. I wasn't fully present in any of the places I was supposed to be. So, I started saying things like "Thank you for inviting me, but let me double-check my calendar" or "I'll let you know tomorrow so we can plan accordingly." This helped me set boundaries and take care of myself. I learned that setting boundaries is a way of practicing self-care.
Boundaries are excellent; you live by design and have identified your needs, and others will respect you.
Setting boundaries can also encourage others to reassess their own limits and expectations. As you start standing in your power and communicating your needs, people will naturally adjust. While this may be a new behavior for them, it demonstrates confidence, discipline, and self-respect.
By defining our needs and wants, we create a sense of safety and respect for ourselves.
It helps to establish clear guidelines and limits that others can follow to show their respect for us. Ultimately, setting boundaries allows us to communicate what is and isn't acceptable, creating a more positive and respectful environment for everyone.
How To Begin Setting Boundaries
It starts with self-awareness. If you don't like the way you feel or act, know that you have the power to change it. It all starts by saying no to what does not serve you and standing your ground with no guilt or shame.
Book your free 30 minute session with me today to get started on adjusting your boundaries.